Wait...weight?!?!

So I've been off with my fitness lately and I know it. And I say it's OK but deep down I know it isn't...I miss working out religiously! I do but when is enough...enough?!?

All my life I've been fat...let's admit it...I WAS fat! I don't want ppl to say, "oh no...u weren't fat!" YES I WAS! LOL it's OK...I accept it...I moved on and obviously it shows! Lol but til recently I've been thrown off with events that I thought I could deal with by going to the gym and destressing...but NO! I'm human I F*** up and it's OK! Lol as long as I bounce right back up right?!? Well I haven't picked myself up 100% but I'm getting there...I lost the focus and the purpose of me losing the weight. My main reason was to prove to myself I could do it just needed to get off my ass...second reason was obviously a dude...smh and that's where I definitely went wrong lol after losing the weight I felt great clothes that I couldn't fit in years finally closed without my muffin top bulging out...or me feeling like I couldn't breathe Lol I was and still am feeling good about myself (except for today...feeling a little chuboski lol.) As I was losing the weight I was told I'm was getting waaaaaaaay too skinny and I guess it could've been that no one has ever seen me at my smallest...127 (I'm even surprised at that Lol) and I was told to gain a few lbs even from my own family. Now that I have gained a few lbs aka happy weight...pissed off weight...ijdgaf weight...whatever...I'm told im fat...

For those that know me and I hope there are a few of u Lol I have issues with my weight...and I'll never be content cuz I know where I want my body to be...but at what expense?!? Shit I don't mind paying for these fitness programs that I have cuz I KNOW they work...if I'm willing to drop mad money on shoes I can spend it on my health that's not a problem...my issue is...when will I be content...when will ppl stop judging me...I'm human I fall, I get back up, and fall again...it's life...as long as I realize it...I'll be OK...the world will be OK...the haters will be OK, it'll give them more ammo to hate about...OK I got some tracked Lol...but Yea...where was I?!?! Yea at what expense do I need to hear go to the gym, ur getting fat, blah blah blah...look man! Lol I have the determination to get what I want cuz I know I can do it with or without help...I just want to be clear minded when I do it...I don't wanna hear oh ur letting urself go...hey...I'm still here! I just need me time and that's what I haven't had.

I don't want anyone to think this is directed towards them cuz it's just how I have been feeling for a while...and thnx to those that actually wanna help me out! I appreciate it! I really sincerely do! :o) but imma do me for a bit...enjoy my life! Live in the moment...workout here and there...avoid bread! Lol proud to say have been alcohol free for about a month now :oP so see I got this! And with that said...I'm sexy and I know and I know u are too! ;o)

Lost without you...

Oh where have u gone?!?! When I need u the most your ass isn't there and when i didn't need u...u were ways showing up with a vengeance! I go M.I.A for a few and u leave me like a bad habit?!? As much as I try finding u...u never show up! The hell?!? What have I done for you to leave?!? Is it cuz I found something (well someone ) to take my attention away from you?!?

Well I'm back...I haven't really forgotten about you I swear! I just had to lose myself for a bit and figured u would be around when I was ready but ur not...it's kinda f*** up to think u have gone...or if u haven't left then wtf am I doing wrong?!? Did I really lose you because I wasn't sure of what I needed?!? I'm sorry! I promise to never leave you...again...I'm here to stay! I might not have my shit 100% together but I can assured u that u have my attention!

DRIVE..I need you back in my life! I know it's not too late! I have refocused and even tho my attention has gone to other ppl and places...I can guarantee that u are my priority! U have gotten me so far in the past 7 yrs and I will always appreciate you for everything that you have done and I want to show you how grateful I am by giving u my all from now on! If I don't u can leave me and only I will have myself to blame...remember I am here to stay so I need you with me...deal?!? Sweet! So I will see u tomorrow and I promise not to bullshit u!

Love,

The wreckless one who desperately needs u back!

Results of Day 1...59 to go...

FIT TEST! aka Death to fat in 25 mins! dear god i forgot how tiring it can be! hahaha

starting weight...132...ending weight in 60 days...125...7lbs...can it be done?!?! F*** YEA KID! ok let me get to the point haha

Day 1: 07/20/12

switch kicks = 60

power jacks = 51

power knees = 90

power jumps = 34

globe jumps = 8 (x4) = 32 

suicide jumps = 17

push up jacks = 15

low plank obliques = 44

in 60 days if u dont see a change thats cuz im effn up! if thats the case kick my ass and make sure i press play! gettin sexy back...again before I turn 28...starts today! 

Starting over!

So today I decided to do insanity all over again! 60 days of straight up pain! But it's OK tho...no pain no gain! These past couple of months have been jye like hard for me...went from 127 to 132...some might think that ain't s*** but to me it is! I have an idea of what my body needs to look like and I didn't kick my ass for a yr to lose it...

So here I am starting brand new...today I do the fit test... Aaaaaah! Idk if I'll survive...but eff it yo! I'm going balls to the wall! Might have to take it easy cuz of my ankle but screw it...gonna push thru! So getting ready to press play! Whoop! Whoop!

Slippin...

Lately have been struggling with going back to where I use to be and idk how I could let myself get to where I am now...not too long ago I was at 126-127...my ideal weight and I wasn't lookin like I was starving but I was seeing how close I was to getting that "lean" look...but for some reason I have let myself go and it's disappointing...I didn't work this hard to get get my sexy on to just let it go...u know!

For this that have known me know that my weight has ALWAYS been an issue for me...I was the chunky one from my crew (still kinda am but my bff's will tell u otherwise lol)...but lately I haven't been taking time for myself...I've been stressing over work and other personal stuff (slowly working on getting this part of my life together...it's taking a toll on me but I'm fighting real hard to not let it effect my results if getting and STAYING SEXY! LOL)

Here I am calling myself out! I've been fiend for sweets and snacking when I feel overwhelmed with life (that's little Debbie's way of coming back and creeping here way back). I seriously f**** up this wknd! Lol cupcakes, tiramisu, crepes, ramen noodle soup! Aaaaaaah! What makes it worse my friends love to eat...I do too but I can do without eating every hour lol I wish I could say my friends are unhealthy and lead an unhealthy lifestyle but there not lol I've known these broads what it seems like my whole life! One is a yoga instructor who has been petite since I've known here and has been able to eat whatever except she isn't a big fan of starches...which I am! Lol the other one goes to the gym as much as she changed her underwear lol but of course her body type is was different...she's curvy but has been able to maintain that flat stomach (Makes me want to punch her lol)! And my other partner in crime...has always been skinny...i don't think I've seen her meaty lol but then again she's pretty tall compared to the three of us lol there girls think I'm crazy for wanting to love weight and that I'm obsessed which I am haha but I know how I want my body to be...I did do asylum, a month of insanity, and maybe 2-3 wks of P90X to lose my flat tummy,.close to losing my love handles, losing my upper body strength and start having those sexy lines where my abs should be lol...

My new mission since I found out I can fit my mom's jeans...is to fit into her size 2 jeans without fat poking out, feeling like I can't breath, and just looking sloppy! Lol how will I accomplish this?!? Easy...I'm going back to eating my 5-6 meals, I don't count my calories just because I think it adds more pressure and stress to only eat a certain amount, no mas pan dulce! I did it for 2-3 wks... Gotta do it again...also get my 7 hrs of sleep...4-5 is no good..no more eating after a certain time aaaaaaand making sure I post my meals and workouts to keep my ass accountable! Sexy is coming back with a vengeance! So if u wanna join me Holla at me! :-)

Move out bitches...sexy coming thru full force! Good day!

Asylum...the end!

So its been a hell of a 30 DAY EXPERIENCE! I couldve done a few things different but i cant complain too much with my results...ive lost inches which is important! I'm getting over the weight part (muscle weighs more!) but that will come in time meaning i need to be a little more discipline! lol but here are the before and after pics of my 30 day journey! (not much change but i feel it in my performance and thats what truly matters!) i know it says wear the same outfit...and i did! but you know how i do...my clothes ALWAYS ALWAYS gotta match my SHOES! haha

First set of pics taken: 03/18/12 

Second set taken: 04/17/12 

 (one day my abs will be defined..just not right now lol stupid bread! lol)

Starting April 30th i will start a new mission...to add on to my obsession with working out...i will be adding doing a double dose of insanity..oh yes...DOUBLE DOSE PPL! and what pray tale might that be you ask...well just let me learn ya right quik...Insanity (60 day program) + Insanity: Asylum (30 days) = idk what that equals but just to let you know...its gonna be the best 30 days of my life! lol if you think you ready...holla at me! my girls and I have done an EXCELLENT JOB! Im super proud of each and every single one of us! now we want to add as many ppl as we can to join us in our next journey! we ready to change one life...one plyo jump at a time! 

Just so you know...we are anxiously awaiting Shaun T's next insane program! WE AINT NEVA SCURRED!

21 days left...

so yea...i know i've been bad with bloggin my process. ive tried to update everyday or post a video but dudes...i be tired! Shaun T kills me! you would think that after the first wk it'll get easier...HELL NO! it got WORSE! how?!?! hell if i kno! lol but for strength i felt it and i still feel it on top of that i went to theWorx with Maia...she had a sub yesterday...he's flippin awesome! he had me in pain but it was flippin great!

so let me tell u what u have missed...last was day 4 right?!?!

day 5: was "rest day"...no such this as rest i did Insanity: Pure Cardio Late friday with a fellow coach via skype (so if u need that motivation and ur a lazy ass...SKYPE ME!)
day 6: Speed and Agility - bendito! mad i was sweatin like it was nobodys business...it looked like i peed my pants! it was horrible but the best workout ever! i was able to jump into the third box for in and out progression with the agility ladder! that same day My sister and I coached and i did my first PLYO PUSH UP! dont stop! get it! get it! so that was the end of my 2 workouts a day type thing...no i lie...keep reading...smh...
day 7: my sister and i did Kempo or Kenpo Cardio Plus (P90X) workout....then we did asylum: strength! i was out for the count man! great workout!
day 8: my first 5am this wk...which was Monday...Back to Core...geez! reverse plank...is the death of my elbow...well besides everything else he has us do...the revers plank is straight up torture! but it felt good especially since it was the last workout lol
last but not least...today...day 9! Vertical Plyo! off no bull i think i pulled something lol like i know i pulled something idk what i did but i did it lol im all jacked up in the game..but its ok! no pain no gain right?!?!?! it kicked my butt! u can see it on my fb page! im done for the count! oh and to add a little more stretch (smart but not too smart) P90X: Yoga! it was a good stretch i aint gonna lie...i'll feel all this tomorrow!


pero..for now...i shall leave you with a preview of how after 1 wk of doing Asylum it has kinda sorta "changed" my physique! (no photo shop ppl..all natural! you wanna change?!?! hit me up! i got change! i just need ur commitment! msg me on fb, tweet me, comment on mi blog, smoke signals...whatever u like! im here for u! whoop! whoop!)

(photo taken: 03/22/12)

LET THE GAMES BEGIN FOR DAY 10 AT 4 AM TOMORROW!